Fast forward to early January 1, 2008. Mari and Laz arrive home from a New Year's Eve party feeling festive (and slightly tipsy, I'll admit). By this point we had been married for about 4 years and 2 months... (and those of you that know me very well, know I live my life to a very precise plan- sometimes without even REALIZING it.) Mari looks at Laz and says- "Let's get pregnant this year." Laz looks at Mari, shrugs his shoulders and says, "I guess." In my slightly foggy little mind, I pictured getting pregnant by the end of 2008, I never expected I'd be a MOTHER by then... So (skipping ahead a little bit) March 1, 2008, Mari discovers that she is indeed pregnant. Surprise, surprise (I was shocked and actually wondered- how did this happen?)! Laz's response- "Wow- that was fast..." It's like we knew what we were doing, but really didn't at the same time...
Anyhow- going back to the things no one tells you, (but I will). The entire world (it seems) had been asking me about a baby for the last 4 years and encouraging me to have one, asking what I was waiting for, telling me we were getting too OLD (yes, old). So, here I was, pregnant and prepared to share my news... And let me tell you- I was SHOCKED at the things that came out of their mouths. The same people who told me I needed this in my life said:
- "Are you sick yet?" (Sick? What do you mean sick? You told me pregnancy and babies are fabulous, why are you talking about feeling sick?)
- "Preparate!" (Get ready? Why are you talking to me now like this is a bad thing?)
- "Sleep all you can now." (No response to that one.)
- "Your life is over." (Are you trying to scare me?)
I decided at that point that misery must love company. These people should have mentioned these things BEFORE I got pregnant, but no, instead they were like- "Have a baby, be like us, it's really great!" and then, when I'm joining them, they hit me with the bad stuff! Hmmm...
So- getting to the point of my post. There are things that no one talks about when it comes to being a parent. It's like no one says these things out loud and I don't know why. I wish someone HAD told me. I would have been more prepared. Maybe if people talk about these things, then becoming a parent wouldn't be such a scary experience (who am I kidding, it would still be scary, you'd just be AWARE). I am going to be VERY honest now, so if you aren't a parent yet and you'd rather go into this blindly, then STOP reading. But if you want to know the truth- READ ON!
- Being a parent is NOT easy, at all, not even a little bit.
- Sleepless nights and interrupted sleep is the worst! It can make a person feel insane.
- You will never sleep well again. (Even when Nadia sleeps the entire night, I don't. I'm listening for her).
- When there is something wrong with your child, it will feel like someone is ripping your heart out of your chest.
- You will worry about EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING she/he does or DOESN'T do. You will wonder if it's normal.
- You will second guess yourself and think you are failing your baby ALL the time.
- You will cry (daddies too, although mommies a lot more).
- Your life will never be the same. (I always pictured myself as a woman who would just keep living my regular life with baby in tow, this doesn't work).
- You will miss out on things.
- Your life is no longer yours. You are no longer #1.
- You are the LIFE SUPPORT to this little person. You are the only thing keeping it alive. (HELLO- SCARY!)
- I could go on and on and on- but I will stop here, I think I've said enough...
I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. I would not send her back. I love her with every single piece of my body. She is the most important thing in my life- but WOW- THIS IS THE HARDEST JOB OF MY LIFE and I just don't understand why no one talks about it. Maybe it's because I am the mommy of an infant and this is all very fresh in my mind? I don't know... Maybe in a few years I'll forget and decide to have baby #2. I guess only time will tell.
Oh- and going back to living my life to a PRECISE plan without even knowing... Nadia was born November 13 and Lazaro and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary 9 days later. How's that for sticking to the plan?