Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The things no one tells you (but I will).

Right after you get married (it might even start at the reception), people start asking when the baby is coming. I thought people were INSANE and I pretty much said that to every person that asked. I was 22 years old and NOT planning on a baby for a long time. I wanted to enjoy being married and enjoy living with Laz (and not with my parents). Laz and I had a 5 year plan. We'd be married for 5 years and then there would be babies.

Fast forward to early January 1, 2008. Mari and Laz arrive home from a New Year's Eve party feeling festive (and slightly tipsy, I'll admit). By this point we had been married for about 4 years and 2 months... (and those of you that know me very well, know I live my life to a very precise plan- sometimes without even REALIZING it.) Mari looks at Laz and says- "Let's get pregnant this year." Laz looks at Mari, shrugs his shoulders and says, "I guess." In my slightly foggy little mind, I pictured getting pregnant by the end of 2008, I never expected I'd be a MOTHER by then... So (skipping ahead a little bit) March 1, 2008, Mari discovers that she is indeed pregnant. Surprise, surprise (I was shocked and actually wondered- how did this happen?)! Laz's response- "Wow- that was fast..." It's like we knew what we were doing, but really didn't at the same time...

Anyhow- going back to the things no one tells you, (but I will). The entire world (it seems) had been asking me about a baby for the last 4 years and encouraging me to have one, asking what I was waiting for, telling me we were getting too OLD (yes, old). So, here I was, pregnant and prepared to share my news... And let me tell you- I was SHOCKED at the things that came out of their mouths. The same people who told me I needed this in my life said:
  • "Are you sick yet?" (Sick? What do you mean sick? You told me pregnancy and babies are fabulous, why are you talking about feeling sick?)
  • "Preparate!" (Get ready? Why are you talking to me now like this is a bad thing?)
  • "Sleep all you can now." (No response to that one.)
  • "Your life is over." (Are you trying to scare me?)

I decided at that point that misery must love company. These people should have mentioned these things BEFORE I got pregnant, but no, instead they were like- "Have a baby, be like us, it's really great!" and then, when I'm joining them, they hit me with the bad stuff! Hmmm...

So- getting to the point of my post. There are things that no one talks about when it comes to being a parent. It's like no one says these things out loud and I don't know why. I wish someone HAD told me. I would have been more prepared. Maybe if people talk about these things, then becoming a parent wouldn't be such a scary experience (who am I kidding, it would still be scary, you'd just be AWARE). I am going to be VERY honest now, so if you aren't a parent yet and you'd rather go into this blindly, then STOP reading. But if you want to know the truth- READ ON!

  1. Being a parent is NOT easy, at all, not even a little bit.
  2. Sleepless nights and interrupted sleep is the worst! It can make a person feel insane.
  3. You will never sleep well again. (Even when Nadia sleeps the entire night, I don't. I'm listening for her).
  4. When there is something wrong with your child, it will feel like someone is ripping your heart out of your chest.
  5. You will worry about EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING she/he does or DOESN'T do. You will wonder if it's normal.
  6. You will second guess yourself and think you are failing your baby ALL the time.
  7. You will cry (daddies too, although mommies a lot more).
  8. Your life will never be the same. (I always pictured myself as a woman who would just keep living my regular life with baby in tow, this doesn't work).
  9. You will miss out on things.
  10. Your life is no longer yours. You are no longer #1.
  11. You are the LIFE SUPPORT to this little person. You are the only thing keeping it alive. (HELLO- SCARY!)
  12. I could go on and on and on- but I will stop here, I think I've said enough...

I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. I would not send her back. I love her with every single piece of my body. She is the most important thing in my life- but WOW- THIS IS THE HARDEST JOB OF MY LIFE and I just don't understand why no one talks about it. Maybe it's because I am the mommy of an infant and this is all very fresh in my mind? I don't know... Maybe in a few years I'll forget and decide to have baby #2. I guess only time will tell.

Oh- and going back to living my life to a PRECISE plan without even knowing... Nadia was born November 13 and Lazaro and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary 9 days later. How's that for sticking to the plan?


  1. I was getting the "when are you having kids" question before we got married, I believe right after the engagement... CRAZY

  2. i loveeee this post! so true! i remember getting asked all the time by my ILS "oye when is the baby coming nos estamos poniendo viejo"....and then when we were expecting it was like a shock to them...lol

  3. this is all sooo true. I could never have dreamed it was going to be so hard. I imagined myself frolicking around parks with a happy giggly baby in tow.. instead I have a screaming meltdown baby the second we leave the house lol

  4. This is just a test to see if I could finally post a comment. I'm tired of writing out my thoughts and then my comment not going through!!!

  5. FINALLY! I am able to make a comments!!! I am sooooo excited I don't even know what to say. You are doing an AMAZING job!!

  6. If everyone was like you and told people the truth then NO ONE WOULD HAVE CHILDREN!! :o)

  7. I just want to tell you that #3 is not true!! Yes, in the first few months you won't sleep well even when she is sleeping well, but that eventually stops! I can honestly say that I have gotten a good full night's sleep almost every night since she was about 5 months old. It WILL happen for you too!


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